


10 Days And Everything Changed

by robertstanion



Series: My Be More Chill Fics idk what to do with them :) [1]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Depression, M/M, Self-Harm, Soulmates AU, the squip ruined everything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-02
Updated: 2018-12-02
Packaged: 2019-07-06 00:57:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 8,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15875218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robertstanion/pseuds/robertstanion
Summary: Every day, babies are born with a symbol tattooed on their body; that's their soulmate charm, whenever they are near their soulmate, it tingles for a split second so you know. But there's a hitch. The other person gets any bruise or cut their soulmate recieves. And one weekend, Jeremy Heere decides to surprise his best friend, Michael Mell, when cuts start appearing on his forearm and his mark tingles....





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Starts at the partyyyyyyyyy  
> -  
> just pretend everything from here on now happened in 10 days

"Michael?" Jeremy asked, in a kind of pained shout. Somehow Jeremy and Michael had both ended up in the bathroom at Rich Goranski's party. Michael was praying to god he'd be alone. But no. Jeremy had found him, hadn't he? After Jeremy had taken the squip, he'd become too "cool" for Michael and started getting all the popular girls to fall head over heels with him.  _Just because he liked Christine._ "I-I didn't know you were invited to this party!" Jeremy continued, rubbing his arm. That was because his soulmark was tingling and he swore it was to do with one of the girls outside the door waiting for him. He was looking at Michael Mell, his ex best friend, who was currently lying in the bathtub in a jacket made of old cans. "I wasn't," Michael started, facing the wall, avoiding Jeremy's gaze at all costs, "which is why I'm wearing this....clever disguise." He said sarcastically, finally eyeing Jeremy. Michael's mark was tingling. He wasn't as dumb as Jeremy, who always thought when his mark tingled it was to do with a girl, but Michael knew. Michael knew Jeremy was his soulmate. He'd worked it out a while ago, when they were 14, there was no one else in sight and Michael's mark began to tingle. That's when he knew.  _That's when he knew._ Michael climbed out the tub, threw the can jacket off to reveal a black sweater with the word  _Creeps_ printed in lime green across the front. "You're speechless." Michael said, now looking Jeremy directly in the eyes. He wanted to make Jeremy feel intimidated. He was sick of being known as "Jeremy's friend," when in fact he was so much more. He was Player 1  _and his soulmate_ for crying out loud! "Squip got you're tongue?" Michael spat, a ball of fire rising rapidly inside his chest. It was getting bigger by the second and his soulmark was tingling more and more. "No! It's..." Jeremy began, breaking eye contact with Michael and holding his wrist in his arm. His hands were usually cold and could stop the tingling of his soulmark in seconds, but no matter how hard he pressed on the small pride sign (colored and all), it just wouldn't stop tingling! Michael waited for an answer.  _Michael waited for an answer._ God, he never thought he'd ever have to hear himself think that seeing as Jeremy usually always had a comeback to whatever Michael said. "It's off..." Jeremy finally finished. Michael sat on the edge of the bathtub, put his head in his hands and let his glasses slip slightly down his nose. The heat inside of Michael was just about to burst into flames, but Michael had to tame it. He couldn't unleash hell all just yet. "So that explains why you're talking to me." He said, head still in hands. He didn't believe whatever Jeremy said anymore, just because he has a computer in his brain. "I was thinking about this moment," Michael said, standing up to face the wall. He almost had a tinge of sadness in his voice.  _Almost._ "What I was going to say to you!" Jeremy could feel his pupils widen at the thought that his best friend would be angry with him. This wasn't Michael Mell, something had happened to him. Something had changed him, and Jeremy felt it was his fault. "I had this...really...PISSED off monologue...An epic journey through 12 years of friendship!" The boy in black placed his fist to his chest, while the other boy present in the room clenched his fist and fought back tears, moving his gaze to the floor. "What?" Michael asked, suddenly realising something had clicked inside Jeremy's head. His expression had changed, and Michael felt slightly vulnerable despite being taller. He'd been feeling vulnerable for a while now. "Y'know it's ju-j..." Jeremy stuttered, moving his eyes from the floor to watch Michael before moving his eyes to the floor again. "It's just really great to see you here." He sighed, flashing a smile at Michael.  The taller boy turned to face the wall.  _Bullshit,_ he thought,  _I'm taking none of his bullshit! He doesn't want me as a friend anymore!_ "Well it won't be when you hear what I found out." He replied. Jeremy was now confused and he had his gaze set on his friend, letting his numb arm drop beside his leg. "Found out? About?" Michael pointed to his head, hoping that would give the dumbass squipped human being in the room some idea. "H-How? There's nothing on the interent about it..."

"WHICH IS WEIRD RIGHT!" Michael shouted at Jeremy, and Jeremy jumped. "I MEAN WHAT'S NOT ON THE INTERNET!"  _True..._ Jeremy thought. He bit his tongue and scratched his left wrist. "So I started asking around! And then finally, this guy I play warcraft with, told me his brother went from a straight D student to a freshmen at Harvard." Jeremy's eyes widened, and his mouth slightly parted. Michael had walked towards Jeremy now. They were inches apart, almost in hugging space. One hug and they could make up.  _A HUG AS A FRIEND._ "You know where he is now?" Michael raised an eyebrow. He was still done with Jeremy's bullshit and couldn't withstand it. 

"Really happy and succesful?" Jeremy answered, clueless. 

"He's in a mental hospital!" Michael turned away from Jeremy and walked towards the wall. He wasn't going to let Jeremy see he had tears in his eyes. That would prove him as weak, and one thing Michael Mell was not, was being weak. Jeremy's face dropped. Was he going to end up like that? Why was Michael telling him this in the first place? Thousands of questions raced through his mind all at once and he went slightly dizzy. He accidentally hit the wall, trying to support himself and trying not to fall over. What Jeremy didn't see was the bruise that was forming on his shoulder was also the same bruise forming on Michael's shoulder, and how Michael had winced as it formed. "Totally lost it..." Michael continued. He was making a point. He didn't want Jeremy to end up in a mental hospital, and he certainly didn't want him to hear that he was crying either. "Alright but I don't see what that has to do with-"

"JEREMY, MAN!" Michael said, spinning around after pulling himself together. He faced the other boy, who had one hand resting on his hip. "We're talking an insanely powerful supercomputer! You think it's primary function is to get you laid?! Who made them? How did they end up in a high school?! IN NEW JERSEY!" Michael was getting more and more stressed, but it wasn't visible to Jeremy anymore. Jeremy could see past Michael like before. "Of all possible applications for such a-a mind blowingly advanced technology, you ever wonder what it's doing inside you?" Michael was choking back tears again as he pointed to Jeremy. Jeremy's eyes darted to the finger being pointed at him, to Michael's watery eyes. Jeremy spat. "I thought Chloe was jealous..." Michael folded his arms and walked towards him, closer this time. He didn't care that Jeremy could see that he was on the verge of crying. This was his strength, boys cry too, he told himself, boys cry too. "Honestly! Ask it!"

"No really," Jeremy said, proceeding to fold his arms to hide. "I'm honestly asking!" Michael cried out, doing whatever he had in his strength to not touch his shoulder.  "Yeah..." Michael said, trying to defend himself. He didn't know what he was doing, but he knew the squip was on again and that Jeremy Heere was getting more sober by the second givign the squip more power over Jeremy. "I think, you're just pissed that I have one, and you don't." So this was how their first major argument was going to break out. In a party, on Halloween, over a squip. "No! Come on!" 

"Maybe I got "lucky" alright! Is that so wierd?" Now Jeremy was agitated. There was a lot of anger in him, and he wasn't afraid to use it. He wasn't afraid to hurt Michael Mell with it, his friend for 12 years. And all that was about to change. "With my history, I would say that the u-universe owed me more and look! I d-g-don't care about you're "friend's brother's whatever" but if his squip made him go crazy then-"

"HIS SQUIP DIDN'T MAKE HIM CRAZY! HE WENT CRAZY TRYING TO GET IT OUT!" Michael screamed at Jeremy before his face dropped. Michael sighed, a light sigh at that. "Well, then...I got nothing to worry about! Why would I want that..." Jeremy was talking to himself, but Michael grabbed Jeremy's chest and Jeremy's heartrate increased by a lot. Michael was now blocking the door, with his hand on Jeremy's chest. "Come on man...move it." Jeremy said. Michael looked Jeremy dead in the eye and said nothing. "Huh. Or you'll what." Michael said, that ball of fire returning. He'd never had an argument with Jeremy before, well, not one that ended with violence, and he didn't want one to begin with one either. Jeremy's face turned into a menacing frown as he glared at Michael. "Get. Out. Of. My. Way." Michael still didn't budge. He couldn't care less at this point whether they beat each other up or not. But this wasn't Jeremy. " _ **Loser**_." Michael's eyes widened as he became scared of Jeremy. That didn't just happen, did it? Jeremy hadn't just called him a loser. Jeremy ignored his dead arm as Michael let Jeremy leave the bathroom; Jeremy then slammed the door for effect. That left Michael alone, in the bathroom, once more. What could have turned out to be them becoming friends again lead to an argument where Michael was unsure Jeremy would ever want to be his friend. Unlikely. There was a knock at the door and Michael's senses were heightened. "SOME OF US HAVE TO PEE!" Brooke's voice shouted through the door. Michael sighed.  _It was just Brooke._ "Think of an excuse quick!" Michael whispered to himself. "I'M HAVING MY PERIOD!" He shouted back. He hoped that would have worked. Why was that the first thing he thought of anyways? "Take you're time, honey." Brooke replied before her footsteps walked the other way. Michael walked over to the sink and pulled his shirt off only to notice the bruise that had formed and the pride badge on his chest. He took the razor out of his pocket  and drew a line on his right arm, with him being left handed. He winced as he carved the word  _LOSER_ into his forearm. Jeremy's arm suddenly began to sting as he rolled his sleeve up, only to notice the word  **Loser** was there, bleeding. Jeremy's soulmate was obviously being taunted and felt that self harm was the only way out. Jeremy felt pity for whoever that could be, forgetting what he had just called Michael seconds before. 

* * *

_Day 1:  
The self harm started. I never thought it would come to this, but it obviously did. Me and Jeremy thought in the bathroom. I never wanted it to end up like this, but he's abandoned me for more people. It was only a matter of time before I was replaced, but still...we've been friends for 12 years, I now have a massive bruise on my shoulder where Jeremy hit himself on the wall during the argument and he now has the word LOSER carved into his right forearm. I hope he figures it out soon enough, because I've ran out of meds, I'm broke, and I'm depressed._

_Sincerely, Michael Mell._


	2. Day 2: Michael In The Bathroom, Rich Set A Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Michael In The Bathroom and The Smartphone Hour + depression, angst and banter between our gay bois.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BMC the full musical: animatic style came on and im living. I'm joking, hi my name's either/either Josie Murphy/Hansen/Mell/Heere and I'm an edgy broadway teen. Please contact my instagrams @josiemelll_13 @josiemurphyy_13 for more info on this book I'm writing instead of doing my homework :)  
> Also, I type every word. EVERY. WORD. I CAN'T FEEL MY HAND (I bit myself in anger)

"It's okay Michael, we can get through with this." Michael panted as he paced the bathroom. He was sweating. It wasn't ideal being stuck in the bathroom, now was it ideal that he now had  ** _LOSER_** carved into his right arm either. But he knelt over the sink,  letting the blood drip down, and he looked in the mirror. "I am hanging in the bathroom at the biggest party of the fall..." Michael began to sing, looking in the mirror. He had bags under his eyes and his hair was messed up, his banadana wonky. "I could stay right here..." Michael dragged his fight towards the window onlooking the backyard. "Or dissapear, and nobody'd even notice at all." He sighed. He turned around in pain as he saw Jeremy and he was reminded of the events that had just happened. He sat on the edge of the bathtub, tracing over the weeping letters on his arm. "I'm a creeper in the bathroom cause my buddy kinda left me alone. But I'd rather fake pee then stand awkwardly, or pretend to check a text on my phone." But even still, Michael pulled out his phone and read through his and Jeremy's texts. Well, his and "Player 2's" texts. "Everything felt fine. When I was half of a pair..." He continued to sing out of nowhere, a tear falling on to his phone screen as he saw the weird photos that Jeremy used to send him. His heart shattered into a million pieces when he remembered Jeremy was his soulmate. "And through no fault of mine...there's no other half there." He banged his fist against the window. Thankfully nobody could see the scene unfolding above them outside. "Now I'm just Michael in the bathroom, Michael in the bathroom at a party. Forget how long it's been." There was a soft knocking at the door. "Michael in the bathroom, Michael in the bathroom at a party, NO YOU CAN'T COME IN!" He shouted to whoever it was and they stopped. "I'm waiting it out 'til it's time to leave." He walked back over to the mirror. "I'm picking at grout as I softly grieve!" He removed his glasses and wiped stray tears from his eyes. "I'm just Michael, who you don't know! Michael flying solo! Michael in the bathroom by himself. All by himself." Michael stood up and moved back to the window, sitting on the edge of the bathtub again. "I am hiding but he's out there just ignoring all our history." Michael tried searching for Jeremy, and they both accidentally made eye contact. Michael turned his head quicker than anything he'd turned away from before as Jeremy was his biggest fear now. "Memories get erased..." Jeremy had probably forgotten about him by now. "And I'll get replaced with a newer 'cooler' version of me." Michael looked back out the window and saw him talking to Dustin Kropp. He sighed. "And I hear a drunk girl, sing along to Whitney through the door!" He practically ran to the other side of the room, pressing his ear against the door and listening to a drunk Chloe singing. "I WANNA DANCE WITH SOMEBODY!" Michael sang along with her. "Then my feelings sink, cause it makes me think. Now there's no one to make fun of drunk girls with anymore!" He shouted, sitting on the floor, back pressed against the door. "Now it's just Michael in the bathroom, Michael in the bathroom at a party, I half regret the beers." He looked in the corner of the room, that was filled with empty beer cans. "Michael in the bathroom, Michael in the bathroom at a party, as I choke back the tears." That part was true, he was struggling to hold them in. "I'm just Michael, who you don't know, Michael flying solo! Michael in the bathroom by himself!" He shouted, walking back to the window, just out of curiosity. "Knock knock knock knock, their gonna start to shout soon." Michael's eyes turned towards the door. "Knock knock knock knock, oh hell yeah I'll be out soon! Knock knock knock knock, it sucks he left me here alone. Knock knock knock, here in this teenage battle zone. Clang clang clang clang, I feel the pressure blowing up.  Bang bang bang bang! My big mistake was showing up! Splash splash splash splash, I throw some water in my face. And I am in a better place, I go to open up the door..." Michael's hand gingerly twists the handle before letting go. "But I can't hear knocking...anymore." Michael sighed and walked back towards the bathtub. "And I can't help but yearn, for a different time. And then I look in the mirror." Without moving, he saw his reflection in the mirror. "And the present is clearer there's no denying I'm just......." Michael let the tears fall, on to his scars, on to his chest, making it tingle. "At a party, is there a sadder sight? Than hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm, Michael in the bathroom at a party, this is a heinous night. I wish I stayed at home in bed..." He stood up and threw his coat on. "Watching cable porn, or wish I'd offed myself instead, wish I was never born!" He screamed at his reflection, slightly opening the window. "I'm just Michael who's a loner, so he must be a stoner!" He began to climb out the window and on to the ladder. "Rides a PT Cruiser, God he's such a loser!" He heard the clatter of metal against metal as his razor fell out his pocket and hit the ladder. He climbed down quicker as he searched the ground to find out. He was camouflaged with the bushes so it was easy for him to escape. "Michael flying solo, who you think that you know. Michael in the bathroom by himself." He got up and began walking towards his car. "All by himself, all by himself!" He said, opening the car door. He climbed in. "And all you know about me is my name, awesome party I'm so glad I came..." He put his glasses back on and drove off. 

"I've fucked up..." Jeremy came to the realisation when he was talking to Dustion Kropp and he accidentally made eye contact with Michael in the bathroom. His mark began to tingle as Brooke approached him. "Excuse me for the minute..." Jeremy said, pushing through the crowds. He ran upstairs to the bathroom and knocked on the door. He could hear Michael singing inside. Michael's voice, Jeremy had never heard him sing before. And he'd been so awful to him tonight, that he was alone. "Jem, this is you're chance to apologise, he'll open the door and you'll slip inside and say what happened there and then." He was knocking harder. Then he saw the door handle twist and he stopped. His arm was stinging and the red lettering had gone slightly purple. He went back out to the party below him as him and Brooke danced drunkily, but then he had to stop himself as he saw Michael climbing out the bathroom."Excuse me again, I'm so sorry!" Jeremy said as he saw something glistening fall out of Michael's pocket. He was running across the field of a garden Rich had to the ladder that lead from the bathroom to the garden. But then he saw Michael pick it up, so he followed him. But he ran after Michael, but it was too late, he'd driven off in his Cruiser. Brooke ran after him. "Jeremy?"

"Lets go back to yours." Brooke smiled as she climbed in Jeremy's car. 

* * *

It was a surprise nobody found out sooner, but then again, nobody watches the news these days. 

"O.M.G CHLO ANSWER ME!" Jenna shouted frustrated, doing her makeup whilst texting one handed. "WOAH! WAIT UNTIL I TELL YOU WHAT I HEARD!" She sent the text, applied more makeup before picking it up after it read 'seen' "IT'S TOO FUCKED TO TYPE! THIS SHIT IS RIPE! CALL BACK, I'LL YELL YOU EVERY WORD!" And Jenna rang Chloe. 

Chloe rubbed her eyes. She'd just woken up and saw the messages off Jenna, then her phone began to ring. "Jenna Roland calling?" She yawned. "Ugh, Jenna Roland calling." She whined. "Jenna Roland calling!" She said, putting on a fake smile and a fake voice. "Hey!"

"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god okay so! At the end of last night's party, very end of last night's party! Did you see Rich?" Jenna said, basically jumping on her carpet. 

"Oh, I saw Rich." Chloe raised an eyebrow as she kicked the duvet off of her and placed her phone on her makeup stand as she picked out an outfit to wear. 

"So he's behaving hazy like a tweekin' junkie, flailin' crazy like a freaking monkey!" Jenna said, getting into it, looking at the selfie she took last night. 

"He's gotta learn to handle his high, shouldn't drink so much for a small guy." Chloe said, curling her hair. 

"Right, but he wasn't drunk!" Jenna said, getting even more excited. 

"What the hell you saying Jenna?" Chloe asked, hoping she'd repeat it because she was unsure to whether she heard correctly.

"Yo! He wasn't drunk!" Jenna repeated and Chloe's eyes widened. 

"The hell you saying Jenna!" She asked again. 

"No! Because I heard from Dustin Kropp, that Rich had barely touched a drop! Which means you can't blame the things he did on alcohol! It's just so I just don't wanna relive it all!" Jenna said, fake crying over the phone. "But do you want me to tell you?"

"Spit it out, spit it out!" Chloe said. 

"You really want me to tell you!" Jenna repeated. 

"SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT!" Chloe shouted. 

"I'll tell you cause you're my closest friend."

"I'm not?"

"I know. So here's what happened at the party's end! Rich set a fire and he burned down the house. Then! Rich set a fire and he burned down the house, woah! I thought I was dreamin'! Everybody was screamin! When Rich set a fire and he burned down the house, when Rich set a fire and he burned down the house!" Jenna hung up and slammed her phone on the bed. 

There was a lot more of this, eventually, Jenna's selfie, the selfie of her in front of the burning house, was going viral. 

Michael had heard the news of course, he has a twitter, he just doesn't use it. And he likes seeing what Jeremy gets up to (Jeremy doesn't know it's him.) But Michael couldn't care as he took his razor out and cut  ** _DUMBASS_** below  ** _LOSER_** on his arm. He cried, not out of pain. Out of instinct. Jeremy woke up with a burning pain on his right arm. He rolled his sleeve up and did whatever it took in his power not to wake Brooke. He saw his soulmate cutting  _ **DUMBASS**_ under  _ **LOSER.**_ Jeremy sighed. He would find his soulmate whether it would be the end of him or not. Little did he know... _Little did he know..._

* * *

_Day 2,_

_Richard Goranski set a fire to his house around an hour after I left. Someone was pounding on the bathroom door, I almost went out the normal way, out the door, didn't happen. Climbed out the window, razor fell out my pocket, heard someone chasing after me so I jumped in my PT singing to myself as I went home. Oh yeah, I was crying. Me and Jeremy had...an argument. He's going to drive himself insane by trying to pull the squip out his brain. But he's my soulmate, I still feel sorry for him(stay alive reprise came on i need to die) but anyway, a reminder, if any man comes up to me saying I'm his biological son, I will turn to him straight (I, to clarify as the author and Michael Mell, am 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000% not straight so whyever the fuck I put that in there. Oh well my fucking friends are on about fish tasting like chicken ??!")faced and go "Notcha son" and walk away_

_-_

_Michael Mell, depressed and alone :)_

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took me 20 mins to write :) crying inside :) who did this, alexander did you know? excuse the notcha son reference from hamilton i had to im sorry again (im british i keep apologising, can you tell im bRIitIsh? im also autistic but oH WELL)  
> Main Body (word count): 1864  
> Diary Entry (word count): 142  
> All Together (word count): 2006  
> All Together (pages): 5.6


	3. Day 3, he tells me now

_Day 3. I'm sorry, this is dumb. Day 3, 7 more entries until a climax. Til....I'm sorry again. Till I go. Not saying where. Day 3. Jeremy's in hospital. I went to see him once and Rich told me he liked me. I swear to god, Jeremy didn't want me there, and I caught a glimpse of his arm that had **Loser** and _ _**Dumbass** _ _carved into it. "Soulmates suck." Jeremy sighed as he showed me his arm. I swallowed the lump in my throat. There was no way in hell I'd show him my arm. "I'm going to find my soulmate, and I'm going to tell them they're loved and cared for and this isn't the option!" Jeremy said, excitedly. I said my goodbyes, ran to the hospital bathroom, and took my blade out. **You Already Know Who You're Soulmate Is, Jeremy.** I cut. I didn't feel pain anymore. Unless it's heartbreak, which I'm currently experiencing, and fuck it kills. Why I carved those words into my arm, I don't know why. He's as dumb as a break wall anyways. I sigh as I'm writing this. 7 days, I've already said. I just got back. But hey, I guess this is the future._

_-_

**_Michael Mell, day 3, a fucking loner._ **


	4. Day 4: What's The Point In Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y'all I'm sorry I've been on hiatus you're gals been depressed but today, a month ago, the 21st of september, ya gal got a boi. we've barely spoken but i'm officially taken and I can now write effectively so here's a speccal chapter where you think everythings going one way and it might turn out differently.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'all ships are sailing on the seven seas tonight.  
> also check the end for three diary entries that broke my heart uwu (the last one's mine but jeremy's is le sob in japanese)  
> TW: Suicide mentions at the end, self harm mentions at the end

"When in doubt, spotify is always the way to go." Michael said, practically throwing himself on to a chair. He pulled the desk back so it was squeezing him inside. like a little box, Jeremy would say. Jeremy always used to help him with his anxiety, now Michael was in first period, stoned and in the midst of an anxiety attack.  _7 to 4, Michael, 7 seconds to breathe in, 4 seconds to breathe out._ He hit shuffle on his playlist.  **Dear Diary-** The entrance to Beautiful from Heathers began to play. Michael felt his heart clench. This was one of the first songs he introduced to Jeremy. Everything seemed to revolve around Jeremy, these days. But Michael still played with the blades, not that he cut very often. But he related to that song  _so fucking much_ it hurt. "Mr Mell?" The teacher called. Michael opened his now extremely red eyes. "Do you know the answer to the question?"

"Yeah, I do, fuck this place and fuck you're dad." He said. He stood up and got out of there. He didn't know why, but he felt the eyes on him. He wasn't going to lie, that was probably his proudest moment in school. Taking first place after he threw up in a birds nest and a kid swore there were eggs in it but was too short to see over the top. Long story short, the same kid AKA Rich Goranski put his hand in the nest to get the eggs but got a hand covered in Michael's sick. Michael couldn't help but grin as he reminisced (big word for a smol child) the thought. It got to the end of the 9 minute song and Michael found himself hovering over the school's sinks. Nobody else was in there. He usually came in here to smoke weed. But no, he was just...hovering. The door clicked open. "Michael?" It was soft at first before the calls got harsher. Michael made the mistake of looking up. "You walked out of class!" Jeremy exclaimed, approaching his friend. Michael's sleeve had somehow rolled up revealing "OSER" and "BASS." Parts of the words carved into his arm were on show. And Michael knew...he was fucked. "Jeremy I'm fine." Michael sighed, ignoring his reflection towards how rough he looked. As he stood up over the sink, his sleeve rolled down and the words were no longer visible. Michael exhaled in relief. "You're tense." Michael didn't realise Jeremy had his hand on his shoulder. 

"Fuck, I guess I am tense." Michael rolled his eyes that synced with the amount of sarcasm. 

"Michael can you..can you just stop! Can you stop with that attitude please!" Jeremy begged Michael. Michael hadn't heard this before. 

"Jeremy. I-"

"Please....can I come over to yours later. Please."

"Sure I guess? See you after school." Michael said, avoiding Jeremy's eye contact and leaving the school unsure to whether he'll return. 

* * *

_The time, 4:25 PM._

A knock on Michael's door. "Michael? Can I come in?"

"Sure. It's not like the door isn't wide open and you can clearly see me." Michael said, sarcastically. 

"I know it's you."  _Shit._ Jeremy knew it was him. Jeremy's soulmate. Jeremy's soulmate was Michael Mell. To much speculation before, Michael believed it was his bestf riend (oops a typo that ships boyf riends) of 12 years who was his soulmate and for him to see the words on Jeremy's skin only made matters worse. "What?" Michael said, lighting another blunt. 

"I know you've been cutting."

"You have no proof."

"Yes. Yes I do." Jeremy rolled up his own cardigan to reveal deep lines on the top of his shoulder. They weren't red like Michael's were. They were black. Meaning every word Michael carved is now black on Jeremy's arm. "Michael why didn't you tell me you-"

"End of conversation, Jeremy. I don't want to talk about it."

"Michael stop it! Stop trying to avoid me! I-I'm you're soulmate for gods sake I-! The least I can do is  _try_ to talk with you, to you, I mean." Jeremy began shaking. He knew he was going to start crying. 

"Oh shit Jer....emy I'm sorry!" Michael said, putting the blunt out and standing up. Stars filled his eyes as a wave of heat and nausea spread over him as he went dizzy. 

"It's fine. You don't want me." Jeremy said, allowing a single tear to fall out of his eye. 

"Jeremy-"

"You don't want to be my soulmate. It's okay! I get it."

"Jeremy!"

"I understand-"

"JEREMY HEERE LISTEN TO ME!" Jeremy jumped as he looked timidly at Michael, who was taller than Jeremy himself by about an inch. "You will never understand the period in my life where I was so depressed I almost fucking stayed in Jake's burning house to escape the reality that would be you'd never want to talk to me after the squipcident. You'd nevr want to socialise with me. You'll remember the bathroom incident. That's where I made my first cut. LOSER. You remember that one, don't you. Where I looked at you directly outside tHE WINDOW AND YOU HAD THE AUDACITY TO GO AND JOIN BROOKE LOHST!"

"Michael please don't shout!" Jeremy began to shake against the wall. 

"YOU'RE GIRLFRIEND HUH. BROOKE LOHST! SOMEONE WHO DREW ALL THE ATTENTION TO HERSELF BACK IN GRADE SCHOOL!"

"Michael she was hurting she needed me!"

"DON'T YOU THINK I DIDN'T NEED YOU WHEN I ALMOST THREW MYSELF OUT THE WINDOW ON HALLOWEEN JEREMY!" Michael hadn't realised he'd been crying, but when he did, Jeremy made direct eye contact with him. "Micah?" Jeremy whispered, ignoring his own tears as if they were stale and dry and not fresh and cold as if they were burning an eternal icy river down the side of his face, dripping down on to his pale cardigan. Michael turned his back away from Jeremy and shook his head. "Micah are you okay?" Jeremy quietly made his way over to his soulmate.  _His soulmate._ Jeremy felt a new kind of feeling when he thought of that. His soulmate had been in front of him for the majority of his lifetime, yet he'd been too oblivious to even take note of the different ways he acted around him and towards the rest of his friends. "It's okay....Jeremy it's okay. I'm alright. I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry for? You're upset, like me!" Jeremy always tried to see the light side of the situation whatever it was he was facing. He was ill, he'd see it as another way to get better and time off school. The internet was down? He could read those books he'd been meaning to get round to. That was one of the things Michael liked...no.  _Loved_ about Jeremy. "Jeremy, you shouldn't have found out you were my soulmate like this!"

"Why not? I know now!" 

"Jeremy c'mere." Jeremy froze up a little bit but slowly shuffled towards Michael. Michael gripped the collar of Jeremy's cardigan, pulled him forward and slammed his lips against Jeremy's. The force was so rough they both fell backwards on to Michael's bed. Michael was shocked to feel Jeremy kissing back. There was a surge of adrenaline between the two and Jeremy was running his hands up Michael's shirt and Jeremy's several layers of clothing were soon tossed off to the side. 

Half an hour later and the two teens were snuggled against each other, Jeremy in Michael's hoodie, Michael shirtless, both watching Love, Simon. 

* * *

_Dear Diary,_

_I have extremely mixed emotions about today. Firstly, I said fuck off to a teacher, not metaphorically, a genuine phrase uttered by me. I took myself off to the bathtroom where someone confronted me. Ya guessed it my favourite notebook in the world, Jeremy Heere. Now, you may be asking, how did that end up? well i was about to fucking fill the sinks up with my blood by cutting entirely forgetting that would leave Jer in seering pain. Long story short Jeremy almost ended up crying in the school bathrooms and I took myself out of school. At 4:25 the same day, today, what the FUCK am i on about? SO, later on, I was about to get high when Jer was at the door. He knew I was his soulmate which shocked me to say the least. I ended up accidentally shouting at him and he looked so small shaking against the wall. He then saw the light in trying to make me feel happy again. So I told him to come to me, grabbed his cardi, and then we had depressed sex. Now, the question is, are we a couple or are we just friends with benefits, idk. But it's day 4 out of 10. I'm not letting Jeremy ruin my plans._

_-_

_from ya boi, Michael Mell, aged whatever I'm stoned writing this, who is no longer a virgin to a male._

* * *

**_Dear Diary,_ **

**_I'm concerned about Michael. He has a chart on his wall with the number 10 on it and he's just gone and crossed off number 4. Day 1, I presume, was Halloween. Has he been cutting on a daily basis? Is he going to do something really bad on day 10? I don't know. But theres just under a week until we all find out. Yes, I'm talking to you, author. Please make sure my soulmate's okay. I- I don't want him getting hurt please don't make him...write him to do anything stupid. And if you're going to let him go, write it nicely. Please make sure I'm okay too! You're writing depiction of me is fantastic by the way, but I need to know one thing, does michael leave us?  I'm sorry, that's probably a spoiler. Umm...I guess this is where I sign off._ **

**_-_ **

**_Jeremy._ **

* * *

Dear Readers, Fanfic Writers and House Lighters,

God what a chapter! This is kind of an authors note. Notice how Jeremy and Michael actually have contact S E X in this chapter. Seeing as ya boi is a teen virgin and this is a christian minecraft server, I burned the smut. Hence how I made Michael TALLER THAN JEREMY and jeremys the soft UWU BOI and not Michael? yeah! That was a twist none of us saw coming. I actually kinda changed my writing style a little bit for this chapter, I'm not really used to writing in a first/third person switch but I did it for you guys! The progress on this book has been incredible and I was so shocked when I found out so many people were reading this, so i guess this is a thankyou towards all you guys! The next chapter of the book will be any questions you want answered which means this book is getting 11 chapters instead of 10. However, if you ask me directly Will Michael Die I will not give a straight forward answer. I believe I put the warning as Major Character Death but that says nothing. Yes, there's a suicidal character, but that doesn't mean me, a writer currently struggling with depression and anxiety, has the guts to depict someone she has grown to love and care about and let them go. Yet. Or I might do. HAH! Told you I wouldn't answer directly! But please, leave me questions as a response, leave feedback! Any comments based on this chapter WILL BE IN CHAPTER 5! This is not a drill, yes credit will be given, this means YOU'RE TAG IS GOING TO BE SHOWN IN MY BOOK! Sorry, I'm rambling. 

Dear Diary, 

Jeremy, thanks for that. Although I would love to tell you in this chapter whether you're beloved soulmate of yours doesn't make it or pulls through in the end. Unfortunately, due to unforseen circumstances, I just can't be assed to put a spoiler in this early in the series. The chart has something to do with Michael, yes, more will be revealed (ya boi forgot how to spell revealed and spelt it as revieled why has god forsaken me) as the book progressed, who knows, maybe there'll be another called Another 10 And It Changes Again. I don't know yet, I haven't decided. But please, if you're a fan of the book or relate to either Jeremy or Michael in the chapter, drop us a comment and kudos and I may be able to help. If you're feeling suicidal, sis same. 3 Days ago, I threw myself against a wall to release anger before biting myself 11 times on my hand (make that 18 after and before) and 1 on my shoulder. I have a bright red mark of where I bit myself as self harm and it still hurts today. Just know I know what you're going through seeing as I'm going through it myself. Just remember, YOU LOOK LIKE HELL ON WHEELS AND WHEN YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL IT'S A BEAUTIFUL FRICKIN DAY!

-

Josie, author of the book xx

 


	5. Day 5: Hard.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> what's worse than being the depressed stoned kid? The fact everyone knows you fucked one of the most known kids in school.   
> -  
> TW: Rape.

Michael woke up. To his shock, and partly to his relief, he saw Jeremy snuggled up under his arm. "Jem..." Michael smiled."Jem I need my arm." 

"nuvr." Jeremy mumbled, half awake. 

"Fine, treat yourself." He said and pulled his arm away from Jeremy to go and get changed. 

"Michaellllll come backkkkkk." Jeremy pouted. 

"We've got to go to school." Michael rolled his eyes. As soon as Michael was out of the room, Jeremy pulled out his phone. On Instagram, on the account he had blocked Michael, he posted a picture of Michael's room with the caption  _Michael Mell fucked me without my consent. Is that rape, yes or no?_ Jeremy gagged as he looked at him wearing his soulmate's sweater. He pulled it off as quick as he could and pulled on his own clothes. To think he had sex... _HE HAD SEX_ with Michael, someone who he's hated for a while but refused to admit it. He ran out of Michael's house and into his own car. He sat there and noticed his phone was ringing.  It was Rich. 

"Hey Rich." Jeremy said as cheerfully as he could, trying to keep last night's meal down. 

"I saw you're instagram story. Dude, did he seriously..."

"He kissed me. And I faked liking it. And then we had sex. Not like he's any good at it." Jeremy could hear Rich cackling from the other side of the phone. 

"Everyone else is here you know."

"Good." Jeremy said and drove off. What Jeremy didn't know was that Michael was extremely good at lip reading and watched Jeremy say everything. Michael felt his heart shatter. He really thought Jeremy liked him.  _Of course he wouldn't like you, Michael._ Michael didn't realise that when he would step through that door, Jake Dillinger and Chloe Valentine would be waiting to give him a taste of his own medicine. That as soon as Michael stepped through the door, Jake would drag him to the gender neutral bathroom with Chloe, lock the door, and proceed to strip Michael. Michael didn't know that as soon as he stepped through that door, only 10 minutes later would he be inside of Chloe by force and Jake would be inside of him asking "Do you like boys or girls you whore." By Chloe and "You fucking raped Jeremy." By Jake. Repeatedly. He didn't know that 4 hours later he would still be left quivering and shaking in one of the cubicles. He didn't know just an hour after that he would be getting changed again, recalling todays events, and puking multiple times. He didn't know at 6:30 Michael would be carving into his arm and fidgeting with the lock that held his suicide equipment in. But he needed the education but had no choice to go to school. As soon as Michael's foot hit the inside of the door, Jake Dillinger grabbed one of his arms, Chloe Valentine grabbed the other, and with a cackle from both of them, he was dragged, regardless of how hard Michael screamed...

* * *

_Dear Diary,_

_did I rape jeremy, diary? why am i asking anyways. you're just some dead tree. but...jake dillinger and chloe valentine raped me today. i was forced inside chloe and jake forced himself inside of me. kill me._

_-_

_day 5, i thought everything was okay._

 


	6. Fucking Rumours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the one where jeremy done messed up,  
> prepare for 4 rlly short chapters and 1 rlly devastating one

_The rumour spread like wildfire. "Michael had a threesome with Chloe and Jake in the school bathrooms as revenge for what he did for Jeremy. Consensual? Nope. It was without his consent!" People laughed as they passed Jeremy. What had he done?_

 

_Day 1: Michael realised who whis soulmate was and tried to act upon it leaving him with marks carved in his arm that were now unerasable (no clue whether that's a word)_

_Day 2: The fire at Rich Goranski's. The fire that could have killed Michael, that damned fire_

_Day 3: Jeremy was transferred to hospital temporarily as he thought Michael was still in the house._

_Day 4: Michael's soulmate acted upon his feelings._

_Day 5: Michael was accused of rape, and got raped_

_Day 6: Jeremy couldn't help but see Michael in a different way._


	7. Day 7: An Attitude

_It's not easy excluding yourself, dear diary. 3 days and this will all be over! Don't worry, I'm going far away from here. I've given up on cutting seeing as Jeremy knows what's going on and he'll be like "Oh I was high" When I know for a fact he's never touched drugs in his life. So I sit here, tap tap tapping away infuriated. I haven't gone to school since yesterday. Education's pointless when you're leaving your old identity behind in three days. Three days and we start all over..._

_Day 1: Michael realised who whis soulmate was and tried to act upon it leaving him with marks carved in his arm that were now unerasable (no clue whether that's a word)_

_Day 2: The fire at Rich Goranski's. The fire that could have killed Michael, that damned fire_

_Day 3: Jeremy was transferred to hospital temporarily as he thought Michael was still in the house._

_Day 4: Michael's soulmate acted upon his feelings._

_Day 5: Michael was accused of rape, and got raped_

_Day 6: Jeremy couldn't help but see Michael in a different way._

_Day 7: The Thought Get Worse_


	8. Day 8: Another One Bites The Dust

_Dear Diary, there's been a missing person case been put in for me at school. Mom and mom swore not to tell that I'm actually in my basement all the time. They know that if I'm found I'll be dragged back to school. School, where Jeremy and my two rapists await me. The only person who treats me alright now is Christine who popped over for a while yesterday. I love her, as a friend, so much. I wish she was my soulmate, maybe none of this would have ever happened._

 

_Day 1: Michael realised who whis soulmate was and tried to act upon it leaving him with marks carved in his arm that were now unerasable (no clue whether that's a word)_

_Day 2: The fire at Rich Goranski's. The fire that could have killed Michael, that damned fire_

_Day 3: Jeremy was transferred to hospital temporarily as he thought Michael was still in the house._

_Day 4: Michael's soulmate acted upon his feelings._

_Day 5: Michael was accused of rape, and got raped_

_Day 6: Jeremy couldn't help but see Michael in a different way._

_Day 7: The Thought Get Worse_

_Day 8: 2 days remain, I take them with outstretched arms._


	9. Day 9: Climax

_Dear Diary, who do I trust anymore? The police did come knocking on mom's door and they answered it saying they only lived alone. The basement looks very...deserted so nobody thought to look down there. I sleep in a corner. I don't like daylight. But that's it, isn't it. I don't need sunlight for tomorrow, when I'm leaving._

 

_Day 1: Michael realised who whis soulmate was and tried to act upon it leaving him with marks carved in his arm that were now unerasable (no clue whether that's a word)_

_Day 2: The fire at Rich Goranski's. The fire that could have killed Michael, that damned fire_

_Day 3: Jeremy was transferred to hospital temporarily as he thought Michael was still in the house._

_Day 4: Michael's soulmate acted upon his feelings._

_Day 5: Michael was accused of rape, and got raped_

_Day 6: Jeremy couldn't help but see Michael in a different way._

_Day 7: The Thought Get Worse_

_Day 8: 2 days, I take them with outstretched arms._

_Day 9: Fucking take me Alabama_


	10. Day 10: Bye Bye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hold your nose and close your eyes....  
> TW:  
> *check warnings*

_I saved every letter you wrote me_  
From the moment I read them  
I knew you were mine  
You said you were mine  
I thought you were mine

"You're Jeremy Heere?" A woman with blonde curls said. She had mascara running down her face. There was an intense burning sensation travelling up Jeremy's arm, but he nodded. "M-Michael, I'm Michael's mother. P-Please can I come in?" Jeremy's heart leapt. What the fuck had happened to Michael? He got the woman a glass of green tea as he couldn't take his mind off of hs arm. 

_Do you know what_ _Angelica said_

"I found Michael's diary. I think you should read this"

_When we saw your first letter arrive?_

"Dear Diary..."

_She said, be careful with that one love._

Jeremy read on. The past 10 days, it was all in there, in more detail than what the author wrote because she can't be assed. 

**_He will do what it takes to ~~survive~~_ **

Jeremy's heart pounded as he turned to face the woman who had stopped crying.  **"I go down to the basement to try to give him his food. He didn't answer the door so I thought he was either madly stoned or asleep."**

* * *

_**Step 1, lock the door. Michael LOCK THE FUCKING DOOR!** _

_**Step 2, centre the chair MICHAEL CENTRE THE FUCKING CHAIR** _

_**Step 3, loop it tight enough so you go.** _

_**Step 4: douse your blunt with water. Nobody will fucking care what you smoked before this anyways.** _

_**Step 5: Finish the diary entry. Nobody will bother reading it anyways.** _

_**Step 6: Stand on the chair. STAND ON THE CHAIR YOU WANTED THIS ALL ALONG!  
** _

_**Step 7: Breathe in** _

_**Step 8: Breathe out** _

_**Step 9: put your head in the loop. Ignore your glasses slipping, you won't need them where we're going.** _

_**Step 10: kick the chair** _

_**Step 11: leave yourself hanging. You're free now. You're an angel. Free from this world.** _

* * *

**"Turns out he'd hung himself and had been there for quite a while. But I found this..."**

_Day 1: Michael realised who whis soulmate was and tried to act upon it leaving him with marks carved in his arm that were now unerasable (no clue whether that's a word)_

_Day 2: The fire at Rich Goranski's. The fire that could have killed Michael, that damned fire_

_Day 3: Jeremy was transferred to hospital temporarily as he thought Michael was still in the house._

_Day 4: Michael's soulmate acted upon his feelings._

_Day 5: Michael was accused of rape, and got raped_

_Day 6: Jeremy couldn't help but see Michael in a different way._

_Day 7: The Thought Get Worse_

_Day 8: 2 days, I take them with outstretched arms._

_Day 9: Fucking take me Alabama_

_Day 10: Dear moms, I've been like this for all too long. I've covered it up with my passion for art. It's not because of you. I'm so glad you took me in when you did. Jeremy, IT WAS CONSENTUAL! AND I GOT RAPED BECAUSE OF YOU! AND NOW I'M GOING TO BE BURIED IN A COFFIN! I'm free from this world. Like you always wanted. And you're arms burning. That's because your soulmates dead. - Michael Mell._

 

Jeremy looked at his arms. There were no cuts anymore.  ~~In the rare occurence that your soulmate dies, any tattoo, ink drawing or cut left on your arm recieved from them will dissapear immediately with a burning sensation.~~ Jeremy sobbed. This was it, he was really gone. "10 days! We had 10 days to save him!" Jeremy pleaded to the blonde. 

"I guess, in 10 days.  **10 days and everything changed. "**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so that was a wild fucken ride. I really hope you enjoyed the story. The reason every chapter except this was either too long (1-2) or too short (3-9) is because I have had no inspiration with this book. I planned on Michael's death from the beginning. If you need someone to talk to, my instagram is @kevin_the_carr_ot

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter took me half an hour to write it word for word from a BMC animatic called "Get Out of My Way" by ohitscosmo and it's sad because it's before Michael In The Bathroom.   
> Main Body (word count): 1851  
> Diary Entry (word count): 113  
> All Together (word count): 1964  
> All Together (pages): 5.8


End file.
